A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words, And the deeds of a man's hands will return to him. Proverbs 12:14
How does a man have a "full" life? This is an interesting question because first you would have to get a definition of what a "full" life is - and then you might be able to answer this question. My own personal definition of a full life is one that remains full after death when we stand before God. I know many people who describe a full life - but often their definition rests on a fullness that is very temporary. Their fullness will go away - and often it will go away quickly. They will find that either their fullness will end after their pleasure runs its course and begins to cost on the back end - or it will become a glaring emptiness once they leave this life and stand in the presence of God giving account for why they considered what God calls empty - fullness. God tells us how to have a "full" life. It is by being a man who understands the power of words - and uses them to build up - to encourage - to bless - rather than to kill, steal, and destroy. This man uses his words to bless because we read here that he is satisfied with good "by the fruit of his words." Every word he speaks is like a good seed - one that God approves and desires for us to speak. People are blessed and built up. They are glad that they have been in his presence to hear these encouraging and wonderful words. That is why he is blessed by them - because rather than his words coming back to haunt him - they are coming back to bless and reward him. Please do not misunderstand, this is not a "yes" man who only says what you want to hear. He is a man who speaks the truth - even when the initial reaction is negative. But he is not wanting a reward of the instant reaction of his words - he is wanting the "fruit" of them. It takes a while for fruit to develop. Thus he lives for the long-term affects of his words. But there is more we learn here. This man also has the "deeds of his hands" return to him as well. These deeds are those that honor and glorify the Lord. They are deeds of kindness - and deeds which Jesus said would cause men to glorify God your Father when they experience them. Thus they are biblically blessed words - and biblically condoned deeds. How God wants us to have these kind of words and deeds be those that characterize our lives. How do we live a life that speaks these kind of words and does these kind of deeds? It is a life that turns to the Word of God for direction, for counsel, and for the words and deeds that is says and does. What does God call a good deed? Do that kind of deed. What does God say are good words to speak? Speak those kind of words. There really is no magic formula for a life that is blessed in the end. It is simply a life that turns to God's Word to define how life is lived - and how one's mouth is used.
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The Life and Times of the Drunken Fool Part 3 - Effects on our Eyes and Mouth - Proverbs 23:334/26/2011 Your eyes will see strange things And your mind will utter perverse things. Proverbs 23:33
In our look at the life and times of the drunken fool we next encounter the physical effects of alcohol on our eyes and mouth. It is a proven fact medically that alcohol will affect our minds - and through that our ability to think and respond to things clearly. Our brains control both of these functions and since the brain has a large blood supply going to them, they are more quickly influenced by the alcohol levels rising in our blood due to drinking. Within less than an hour two major problems develop for the drunken fool. First the brain itself is hindered from its ability to have nerves function normally. Alcohol in the blood supply depresses our nerve conductivity - thus it also results in a slow down of our ability to think and react to things. Next as the blood alcohol level reaches muscles - our eye muscles will lose their full ability to function and we will begin to have blurred vision. As these things are multiplied by the drunken fool - the brain may begin to misinterpret information and won't react properly to stimuli that are coming to it. The more acute the situation the more that things become distorted with some even having hallucingenic conditions in their comprehension of what is happening to them. One thing I learned while researching these things on the internet is that this is why we should never drink and drive. The more drunk someone is - the more their ability to react to stimuli is impaired - making them very dangerous on the road. One test involved giving goggles to drivers that simulated various stages of drunkenness. At lower blood alcohol levels the failure level of drivers to pass even simple tests was frightening to see. Things only got worse as the person's blood alcohol levels rose. The second statement here is that not only will the drunken fool see strange things - but he will also say "perverse things." When the brain is filled with higher and higher levels of blood alcohol - the brains ability to filter things is severely hampered. Things that would normally be supressed flow freely. The fact that perversity flows more at these blood alcohol levels should be of little shock to us since we know that the Bible says that we are fallen and sinful. I've been around people who said the most horrible things when they were drunk. There are people who are the nicest most discreet folks until they get some liquor into them. Suddenly their mouths are transformed as they begin to curse and say sexually perverse things to the opposite sex. Some were horrified to learn how they spoke the next day as they recovered from their drunken state. Yet a simple reading of Romans chatper 3 should remind us that one of the traits of the sinful nature is its horrific effect on the mouth and the tongue. Romans 3:13-14 tells us that sinful man's throat is, "an open grave." We are also told, "With their tongues they keep deceiving. The poison of asps is under their lips." Finally we are reminded there that their mouths are, "full of cursing and bitterness." Oh how the mouth of fallen man is loosed without any discernment when alcohol numbs their thinking and their conscience. Unfortunately, I've known of relationships that were ended because of things that were said in a drunken stupor. The wise man knows that the last thing he needs is a relaxation of his ability to discern and discreetly chose how he speaks and lives. Since alcohol deadens these things, wisdom tells us to steer clear of all abuse of alcohol. Wisdom warns us against drinking any level of alcoholic beverages because it may deaden our heart's ability to hold our tongues from saying truly stupid and foolish things. Such passages as these in Proverbs should warn even the novice that taking up an alcoholic drink can be dangerous indeed - especially if we want to see things clearly and speak those things that honor and glorify God. Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. Proverbs 25:11
There are certain people who know just what to say at the perfect moment. Something needs desperately to be said and they are the ones who usually say it. Whether you know it or not, it is wisdom that gives them the ability to say these kinds of things. Like apples of gold in settings of silver. Now there is something that is worth a little. You can imagine this artwork as not only being beautiful to the eye - but also of amazing wealth as well. It is the kind of thing one would hang on a wall as a decoration, but would also have listed as a very valuable asset too. This is equated to how very valuable a word spoken just at the right time is. This statement speaks of how appropriate words used just at the right moment in time can be invaluable to someone. We see Jesus doing this again and again in His life. When attacked by the Pharisees and Saducees with a question they think is unanswerable without incrimination, Jesus speaks the perfect word at the perfect time. This kind of ability and skill is a wonderful thing to have when counselling or when offering comfort to those who are hurting or have just lost a loved one. In order to be able to say these kinds of things we need to have an ear open in two directions. First, we need to have our ears open to God. He is the One who can give us the perfect thing to say - because He is the One who can see into every heart and know just what to say. Knowing and being able to communicate God's Word in one-on-one situations is such a blessing to those who receive it. But to know these kinds of statements, we must walk close to God. Second, we need to have our ears open to those around us. Far too many people are never able to speak these kinds of words, because they don't even know that others around them need to hear them. So preoccupied are they with their own trials and troubles - or honestly with their own desires - that they don't hear the hearts of those who are struggling and in desperate need of a word of encouragement and edification. James encourages us to be quick to hear and slow to speak. That kind of wisdom will allow us to hear others - to hear their hurts and their problems - so that we can apply the Word of God in a way that brings healing and grace to them. It will be then that we can offer these apples of gold in settings of silver to those around us who desperately need to hear more than just words - they need to hear the right words - the perfect words for their circumstances. By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, But by the mouth of the wicked it is torn down. Proverbs 11:11
The upright and the wicked have a way of affecting the cities in which they live. The upright are said to exalt a city by the way they speak. They bless the city. The word for bless here is "berakah" and it means to bestow favor upon something or speak well of it. What is interesting about this word is that its root form has the idea of kneeling and blessing. What I see here is that the upright may doesn't just speak blessings over his city - he primarily blesses it when he falls to his knees and prays for it. The blessing here is when a city has many praying, godly men within it. I know a story of a small town in Alabama where three precious grandmothers began to have great concern for their city. Their concern was that the spiritual climate in the city was going down year after year. They watched with broken hearts as the children of the city grew up and no longer were concerned about spiritual things. Their response to this was to ask a local Methodist minister if they could pray at the altar of their church each night. The ladies began praying at 10 o'clock each evening and ended at 11. Soon, though, they could not finish their prayers at 11 so they prayed longer. Before long the ladies were praying through the night - night after night - crying out for the youth of the city - and for God to bring revival. God answered these prayers when an outpouring of the Holy Spirit came upon the city - first in that little Methodist church - then moving the meeting to the Baptist church because it could seat more people - and eventually to the local High School football field because only it could hold the people who began coming. They watched the entire atmosphere of that city radically changed because hundreds of children and youth came to Christ. Truly these little ladies - "the upright" - had blessed the city with their words of prayer and intercession. The wicked though, have no such blessing. They only tear a city down with their actions and words. It is telling what this passage calls these people. They are called, "the wicked" which is the Hebrew word "rasha." This term refers to the wicked - and one of the ways they are described is as the "criminally wicked." These men not only do not bless the city - they are taking from it - and promoting a criminal and lawless lifestyle. No wonder that the city is torn down by their actions. Their actions promote people disobeying the law and living a selfish and self-centered lifestyle. Our nation is in the midst of this very proverb today. For too many years we have had elected officials that disregard the laws they are elected to uphold and establish. Congress actually has the gall to exempt themselves from the laws they pass. If that were not bad enough, we seem to have an endless parade of Congressmen and Senators who are thrown into jail for breaking the law. What have these leaders given to us over the years? They have torn down the very country that was given to them. Instead of protecting and defending it - they are tearing it down with their very hands. It is absolutely essential for the future of our nation that we see this - and correct it immediately. It is essential that we learn about our leaders and hold them accountable to be men and women of character and integrity. If they prove to be other than this - we need to boot them out of office at the next election possible. We need men and women in office who will bless our land once again by their godly, praying leadership. Until we see this happen - we can only expect our nation to continue to spiral downward toward destruction. There is a kind of man who curses his father And does not bless his mother. There is a kind who is pure in his own eyes, Yet is not washed from his filthiness. There is a kind—oh how lofty are his eyes! And his eyelids are raised in arrogance. There is a kind of man whose teeth are like swords And his jaw teeth like knives, To devour the afflicted from the earth And the needy from among men. Proverbs 30:11-14
Today's proverb is a four verse description of the hateful, wicked man. The way this passage refers to this is with the phrase, "There is a kind." The word "kind" is actually the Hebrew word for generation. When you have a generation of people who are like this - you have a very difficult time coming upon the earth. It is an interesting list of things that make for a wicked generation. Verse 11 describes the first godless characteristic - which is having graceless, ungrateful children who dishonor their parents. This generation curses their fathers and does not bless their mothers. They disobey the one commandment with a promise - Honor your father and mother. The bedrock of any generation is their ability to learn from their parents. When the family goes awry there will be a basic disfunction and rebellion that will pervade the entire structure of the society. The basic unit for passing on wisdom is the family. Proverbs makes it clear again and again in the first 9 chapters of this book that it is through a father and mother that wisdom flows to the next generation. So, when they have basic disdain for their parents that wisdom is lost to an entire generation. We watched this in the late 1950's and 60's as almost an entire generation cast off the morals and the wisdom of their parents and decided to start their own revolution. They decided that their's would be a generation of love and peace. They tuned out on drugs, turned their ears from hearing and honoring their parents, and did whatever they wanted. It was a disastrous generation - and those who embraced this kind of lifestyle and living continue to wreak havoc on society today. The second godless characteristic of this generation is that they are pure in their own eyes. The Bible considered this particular sin one that is very damaging. Those who consider themselves pure in their own eyes are blind to the truth that they are fallen and sinful. They will justify themselves no matter who disgusting and disobedient their behavior becomes. It is as if they are deaf to anything God says - and decide that whatever their flesh wants is true and good. Those who fall into this trap will find themselves hopelessly bound in their sin and wickedness - and will only be delivered by the sovereign goodness of God as He draws them and illumines them to truth that is outside of themselves. The Word tells us that even though they are pure in their own eyes, they are still unwashed from their filthiness. Just because we decide we are going to redefine sin in our own minds does not mean that we are not guilty of it in God's sight. No matter how many times the world tries to redefine sin, God's Word stands as ultimate and absolute truth. When the wicked disobey God's Word - and decide that their own thinking is what defines pure - they still wind up standing before God as sinners. But the world in which they live is upside down - and as such it is a difficult place for believers and those who desire to lead holy lives to live. The third evil characteristic is that they are arrogant. This is described as having "lofty" eyes. This simply means that they look down upon everyone else. They consider themselves awesome and wonderful, while everyone else is lower than them. This makes them arrogant. Arrogance is defined in the Bible as primarily a sin agaisnt God. Psalm 119:21 speaks of the arrogant as those who wander from God's commandments. They ignore and look down upon God Himself - and therefore think far higher of themselves and what they want to do than they do of the commandments of God. Proverbs says this makes them embrace sin and be careless (Prov 14:16) as well as those who stir up strife (Prov 28:25). An arrogant heart ultimately disregards God. Such a generation will exalt their own thinking and reasoning above God's. If anyone tries to instruct them or correct them - up will go their eyes and eyelids as they look down on the poor fool who has decided to oppose their perfect wisdom. Problem is the fool is the one whose eyelids are lifted in arrogance against God and against those who walk in His wisdom. Disregard for parents, purity in our own eyes, and arrogance will lead to a society where gentility is gone. The last of these four evil characteristics is that this generation is one where their mouths are out of control. Their teeth are like swords - their jaw teeth are like knives - to devour the needy and afflicted among men. They have no regard for the poor and needy. They only see them as someone to exploit for their own ends. There is a complete lack of civility because there was never other characteristics built into their lives to encourage it. They do not regard parents - who would have taught them obedience and selflessness. They do not see anything as sin - because they justify their own actions - and would even justify treating the afflicted and needy badly. Finally, they are arrogant - and view all others as beneath themselves. This makes it far easier to have little or no conscience at all as long as they get what they want in the end. There is a generation that lives this way. Before you think I am going to refer to a specific generation - think about what the Bible says about the heart condition of mankind. This is actually what happens in every generation of men. It happens because of the fall of man into sin. It happens because we are in rebellion against God - and want to do our own thing. The generation of which Solomon speaks is any generation from the fall to the end of the age. Unless God intervenes with the gospel and the saving of mankind by His grace - we would all eventually gravitate in these four directions. These verses teach us wisdom by helping us to understand where the sinful nature and the flesh will take us. If anything these verses should make us very open to running to God for his grace and His transformation. Because if we don't - this is most likely what life will look like. A world filled with a disregard for parents, filth being called purity, arrogance, and a society filled with harmful and vicious words. This is a generation to be avoided at all costs. But the only way out is through the gospel of Jesus Christ - and the regeneration in Him that changes us from the inside out. Argue your case with your neighbor, And do not reveal the secret of another, Or he who hears it will reproach you, And the evil report about you will not pass away. Proverbs 25:9-10
Here is another of those Proverbs that seems to directly contradict what has been said in the previous verse. Here it has to do with arguing your case with your neighbor. But the thing that truly helps us to understand this proverb is that it deals with arguing your case with your neighbor "alone." The ESV and the KJV bring this out. When a person has a conflict with another person, the best way for it to be resolved is for the two of them to get together and to work it out between them. This is what the writer of Proverbs is saying here. This proverb has to do with gossip more than anything else. When there is a conflict, take the conflict to the person with whom you have the conflict - and no one else. That is what the writer is saying when he says not to reveal the secret of another. When there is a conflict, we don't need to reveal that we have had one with everyone else. That is usually what happens when there is a fight. We decide to talk with everyone else - telling them about everything that has happened and every way that this other person has hurt us - or has wronged us. That is revealing the secret of another. Here is a concept that I know is foreign to the church today. When we have a fight or disagreement with someone - that situation is to be treated as if it is a secret between us and the person with whom we've had the disagreement. It is to remain that way - until we've worked it out with that person. The reason we should do this is because God will give us grace - and give the person with whom we have the disagreement grace. But anyone we bring into the situation - will not have grace to deal with it. They will tend to take one side or the other - and soon factions will begin to develop. When the person with whom we have the disagreement begins to hear that we've told others - new problems will develop. The passage here says that when the person with whom we've had the argument hears that we're talking to others about it - they will reproach us for doing it. There is an additional offense when this happens. There are already problems with this person - but now they feel that they are being slandered with gossip. Now the next step in all this is that the argument begins to develop into a full-sized war. They begin to send out an evil report about you. They are so offended that you've begun to gossip, that they begin to gossip as well. Just as you decided to share the worst of your disagreement with others - they do the same. You feel greater offense but what they are doing is only what you've already done to them. The sad reality with this entire situation is that it will continue toward greater and greater bitterness until one or the other involved with be Christlike enough to humble themselves and begin working toward true healing. This involves actually talking about the problem to the person with whom you have the problem. What is so sad is that the vast majority of the time all that happens is that the two people eventually move to an uncomfortable silence between them. Their relationship becomes superficial - awaiting the next blow up that will come in the future. Argue your case with your neighbor alone. That is wisdom. It will bless you - and honestly - it will bless your church as well. This would be such a cause for maturity in the church. We would have to confront lovingly when we have a problem with a brother - but from what I've experienced - we would also have stronger relationships in the church or wherever we are having problems. May God bless us so that we begin to take this very wise advice and have stronger relationships in every aspect of life. He who loves purity of heart And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend. Proverbs 22:11
What kind of person is the king's friend? That is in interesting question because those who have been in places of high authority know that it is often difficult to determine which ones are their friends - and which ones are befriending them for ulterior motives. When you look at the circle of those who surround the king or leader - among them you will always find the sycophants who are there to get what they can from the king. They offer their friendship . . . for a price. What the leader finds in the end is that this person was not really their friend. Unfortunately for the king, this is only learned when trouble comes - or when the king no longer can give the person what they want. So what kind of person is the king's friend? First we learn that he is a person who loves purity of heart. The term purity here was often used to describe the condition of being "clean" in Israel. This was a pretty strict definition - and thus it describes someone who is pure to a very high standard. When used of a person's heart, it referred to someone who was morally pure - as well as ethically pure. Since it refers to the condition of someone's heart - it speaks of someone who has wonderful morals, wonderful ethics, and whose thoughts and intents were as pure as the driven snow. The king gravitates to this kind of person because of that purity of heart. This is a person who would never be the king's friend for the ride. If he chose to befriend the king - it would be because he wanted to be the friend of the man - who just happened to be the king. That purity of heart would be such a comfort to someone who could give you so much. Most likely, this pure-hearted man would refuse the king's gifts and honors - choosing instead to simply be the king's friend - not the king's benefactor. It is interesting that among the many named as those who surrounded David, one man, Hushai the Archite, was simply known as the king's friend. He befriended David just because he wanted to be David's friend. Hushai the Archite was an interesting man. We only hear of him twice in Scripture. in 1 Chronicles he is simply referred to as the king's friend. The other place we learn of him is in 2 Samuel 15-17. We see him meeting David as David reaches the top of the Mount of Olives after David has had to leave the throne due to being deposed by his son, Absalom. He arrives with his coat torn and with dust on his head. Here was a friend who stuck with David in the very worst of times. Sometimes the king will only know his true friends when he is deposed. Hushai was one of those friends who did not care whether David was king or not - he was still his friend. But when David faced such horrific circumstances, Hushai was there grieving with him through it all. But Hushai's friendship went far deeper - and endured even more challenges. David asked him to return to the city and act as Absalom's servant - to thwart the counsel of Ahithophel. This was dangerous to say the least, because as soon as Absalom sees him - he notes that this was his father's friend. He even chides him for being a poor friend, turning on David in his hour of need. At that moment Absalom could have had Hushai killed or imprisoned. But Hushai went - and served David well. He did thwart the counsel of Ahithophel - and later alerted David to get over the Jordan for safety even if they possilby did follow Ahithophel's advice. Here was a true friend, willing to risk his life to protect his friend. The other factor in being the king's friend was that you needed to have speech that was gracious. There are times when I wish we would translate Hebraisms directly - because I think they paint a much more powerful picture for us. The Hebraism here literally says, "and who has grace on his lips." What a great picture this paints of how this man speaks. He speaks the truth - but does so with plenty of grace. That is the kind of friend the king needs. He needs someone who will tell him the truth - but will do so with much grace as he does so. Too many around the king simply tell him what he wants to hear. They become suck-ups who are too busy trying to woo the king's favor. But a true friend will both speak the truth to us - but will also speak with much grace in what he or she says. Here is the friend of the king - with a pure heart and with grace on his lips. As we look at him closer, we should see here not just a fitting friend for the king, but in all honesty - a fitting friend for anyone! This description fits what we should want in a friend period. May God be gracious to us and allow us to find such a friend in our lifetime. If we do find one - we should thank God for them - and - be such a friend to them as well. It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9
There are days when I would rather not have this blog due to the nature of the subject matter present. Today is one of those days. This is only because I would rather spend a thousand days dealing with men and their biblical responsibilities and their sin, than spend one having to point out sin to ladies. Too often in our perverted world women are bashed on these matters with caracitures that are unflattering at best, and just plain mean at other times. So ladies, today I will try to hug as closely to the text as possible - only using biblical examples as I seek to explain this passage. This proverb begins with a funny picture. We have a man sitting on the corner of his roof. He has decided that this is the better place for him to live. That seems very strange to us. Considering the exposure to the elements - and the sheer uncomfortable nature of living on just the corner of your roof - we are bewildered at this man's choice. What could be so bad that he would make such a choice? According to this proverb, it is the prospect of sharing his house with a contentious woman. What is a "contentious" woman? The Hebrew word used here is "madon" and it refers to someone who is filled with strife and dissension. It speaks in Proverbs 17:14 of a quarrel or dispute that cannot be stopped once it starts - or in Proverbs 18:19 of arguments and contentiousness that create barriers between people. It is usually associated with an evil heart and with a bad temper. Other sins associated with this sin of contention are lying, perversity, and hatred. These are pretty bad sins - especially when you consider that this is someone with whom you live on a regular basis in life. The relationship one has with their wife should be the closest in life - but when a wife is acting this way - it makes life miserable. This lady is miserable herself - and honestly - is making everyone else around her equally miserable. Rather than be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit (as is counselled by Scripture) she is filled with anger, resentment, hatred, and because of these things - a contentious spirit that is ready at a moment's notice to enter into strife and voice her continual dissent. No wonder this guy is sitting on the corner of his rooftop - it is the only place he may be able to get a little peace and quiet. Ladies, if you would indulge me for just a brief few moments, God desires you to be your husband's helper. This is the same term that is used to describe the Holy Spirit. You are called to come alongside your husband and cheer him on - calling him to be the man God wants him to be - and cheering loudly for him whenever he shows the slightest inkling toward that call. Let me let you ladies in on a secret. (All men need to stop reading at this point - and if you do - please do not bring up a vote to have my man-card revoked). Ladies, your words are so very impotant to your husband. You may think he doesn't listen - but he hears every word you say. Whether he chooses to admit it or not - your words are more important to him than any other that are spoken during his day. When you cut him down and constantly criticize him - it does more damage than a thousand comments made by anyone else. The reason this guy is living on the corner of his rooftop - is because he is hurting so bad that any indignity or discomfort would be better for him. He hurts because rather than being encouraged by his wife - he is torn down. That is something that honestly cannot be fixed by anything other than you changing how you speak to him. Yes, I understand that often men are lazy and not exactly taking up the mantle to be God's man. Yes, I understand that you get frustrated waiting for him to be that man. Yes, I also understand that it is not fair for him to dump the spiritual leadership of your home on you. BUT . . . being contentious will not help matters at all. Men will react to this by retreating further from their God-given task. If you would praise him and encourage him when you see the slightest advance, you might be surprised at what begins to happen. Who knows, you might even see him pack up his stuff from the corner of the roof (or man-cave, or garage, or shop, or wherever he hides) and emotionally and spiritually move back into the home. All I know is that wisdom tells me that we get more flies with honey than with vinegar. That means a sweet and gentle spirit will yield far more from your man than being contentious and filled with strife. My son, if your heart is wise, My own heart also will be glad; and my inmost being will rejoice When your lips speak what is right. Proverbs 23:15-16
What should matter most to us when we think of our sons? I know for a period of my life what mattered most to me was seeing my sons excel at sports. I could have sadly rewritten these two verses with the following foolish edits. "My son, if you do well at football and soccer, my own heart also will be glad; and my flesh will rejoice when I can cheer at your games for your goals and touchdowns." (Dopey Father 23:15-16) First of all I want to state that I am not against sports or competitive activities. When God graciously broke me he still allowed my sons to compete in sports - and I continued to cheer for them on the sidelines. Oh, but how I grieved for the years that I had lost - and for the way I had skewed their minds on what was a priority in their lives. During that time period we set everything aside for their sports careers. We spent tremendous amounts of money following them all over the mid-south (which, by the way, put us into debt). I had my sweet wife miss church along with my sons, so that we could go wherever the coach told us to go. We basically had a very clear idol in our lives - and it is was the dream I had that maybe one day my sons could play college ball - or even make a pro team. But the most devastating problem that was growing all the time was the misplaced priorities that I was putting before my sons. My own lack of submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in my life - carried over into my son's lives. This story ends well - because of two things. First and foremost because of God's mercy and grace. But secondly, because of some serious repentance on my part - repentance and brokenness that led me back to a proper life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ - and with proper biblical priorities. Let me get back, though, to the proverb at hand. The father here is speaking of what makes his heart glad. The father here was glad, and later even rejoiced that his son had a wise heart. Wisdom was what this father valued most in his son. And it is a wisdom that sees life as God sees it. The father here lived to see his son one day with a very wise and discerning heart. He labored to see that one day his boy would be a man who longed to do the will of God above anything else in his life. This places before us a very important question. Are we as fathers seeing our most important job as laboring to see our sons become wise, godly young men? Wisdom comes from God. We learned this back in Proverbs 2. If we are going to have wise sons, it will be because we have taught them the things of God. Wise sons come from wise fathers who both know the Word and apply it in our everyday lives. The passion that often drives a "sports-dad" will be re-directed into being a "godly-dad." If the Christian fathers who spend hours trying to hone their son into the next Peyton Manning or the next Landon Donovan, would devote that much time to honing their sons into the next Paul - we'd watch a revolution in the church - and in our society in general. Instead of working on passing and catching skills alone - we'd find ourselves spending time also reading the Word with our child. We'd be working on wisdom skills - on memorizing Scripture - and on being able to take the Word of God an use it to properly discern good and evil as they walked through their lives. I know I may be laboring the point a little bit, but think about this for a moment. How many sons are actually going to be playing sports at the college level? How many truly have a shot at the NFL or MLB or the MLS? And how many who make it to those levels of sport will have a wise and discerning heart there to keep them out of the trouble that seems to be following sportsmen in these sports? The truth is very few will make it to these teams, but everyone single one of those young men will need to be able to live a life of wisdom. All of them - even those who do make it - will need "wisdom skills" to walk through life worthy of their calling in Jesus Christ. If you think your son will make it to a college or pro level - have at it. But Dad, make sure that the most important goal you have for your son is to live a life of wisdom an godliness! Make sure HE knows that this is the true goal - and that which would most delight your heart and soul! The father her also states that his inmost being will rejoice when he hears his son speaking what is right. The inmost being spoken of here is literally kidneys in the Hebrew. Dads, your kidneys need to rejoice over your son! Now there is a phrase you don't hear much anymore. "Hey Bob, man my kidneys just rejoice over how Bob Jr. is growing into a godly young man!" The kidneys were thought, along with the heart, to be the deepest seat of emotion and joy in a person. It referred to the innermost and most private part of a person's life. When you are moved to rejoice at that level, you are rejoicing at the deepest level possible. You rejoice because your heart is blessed at the core level of your beliefs and principles. This leaves me with another loaded question. What is your deepest rejoicing about in life? If you find yourself rejoicing deeply at the touchdowns and sports achievements of others - but yawning at the things of God - the exhibition of godly character and true manhood - you are rejoicing about the wrong things. Let me say, I love a good touchdown like most guys - but God has worked to where I get more excited when I watch my sons make godly decisions. The reason this father was rejoicing in his kidneys was because his son was speaking what is right. This is not that his son was parroting some phrase or some rote speech he knew would make dad happy, but that his son was speaking normally - and was saying what was right. This is an important step for our sons maturity wise. Jesus taught us that it was out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth spoke. So when we hear our sons speaking what is right in their normal conversation - it tells us that God has worked in their hearts. It is easy to get a son to say what YOU want him too when he is around you - but it is far more difficult to rear him to say the right thing (the godly thing) as a matter of normal living. This requires God working in his heart. That is why the father was dancing in his kidneys when he knew his son was speaking this way. Fathers, this proverb is vital for us to grasp. We are called to take boys given to us by God, and rear them to be men. This requires doing far more than just bringing home the bacon - and re-living our desires for sports grandeur through them. Taking a boy and making him a man requires that we put wisdom and godliness at the top of our own priority list, and helping our sons to do the same. It means laboring to see a heart-change in our boys by the working of the gospel and the Spirit of God. It means training our sons to love a woman properly - and to have a vision of what God desires for their lives to be. But I will tell you by the mercies of God that when you watch your sons begin to make godly decisions - no sports achievement in the world can come close to the sensation you will get in your kidneys! Live therefore for the glory of God and the blessing of your kidneys as you labor to take boys - and give the world men of God. The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body. Proverbs 18:8
Gossip is a sin that is too often ignored in the church. We think it is one of those things that is out there - and it will continue to be out there. Many see it almost as a victimless act - but the proverb today lets us know that even if everything looks OK on the outside of this sin - the inner workings of it are very dangerous. The "whisperer" is the gossip. The Hebrew word means one who gossips - but does so by murmuring and complaining. It actually means to excessively complain - and the word is used in passages that create serious relational problems between men - and between man and God. It is combined with other sins like complaining, criticism, faultfinding, and causing trouble. When God experienced these things with Israel in the wilderness in the book of Numbers, He had very strong reactions against it. No matter how we define gossip and a complaining, murmuring spirit - God defines it as very serious wickedness. He deals with this sin very severely. Why is God so opposed to this particular sin? It is because when someone hears gossip and complaining, it is like a dainty morsel to them. Think of gossip like you would your worst craving for a food you know you should not eat. For me this would be homemade chocolate chip cookies. I can resist these for a time - but the problem is that being my version of "dainty morsels" - my ability to resist is limited. Now, if someone set out broccoli puffs, the ability to resist is not a matter of power - it is a matter of not really wanting them in the first place. Thus, some sins are dangerous because of what they present as well as what they promote. Gossip is one of these. Consider your own response to someone who says, "Did you hear about so and so?" Imagine how difficult it is to resist statements like, "I can't believe what I heard the other day about this person." These kind o statements are very difficult to resist. Consider also the gossip magazines that are at the check-out lines at your local grocery store. Why are they so tempting - and why do they sell - even though many times what they say is either completely false - or an exaggeration of the truth. It is because the thought of knowing something about someone else that is supposed to be secret is something that is very difficult to resist. The other reason that this sin is so dangerous is that when we hear these things - Scritpure tells us that they go into the "innermost parts of the body." The literal Hebrew says that these statements go to the chambers of the belly. That is why they are dangerous and difficult to control. These statements of gossip are embedding themselves into the innermost part of our being. We tend to remember and focus on the complaints, the gripes, the criticism and fault-finding that others throw out at us. We look at the person against whom such criticism is leveled with a jaded eye after hearing these things. They color how we see them and how we respond to them - and usually we respond negatively after hearing such things. Unfortunately this is the case whether such things are true or false. That is why the very word used for whisperer here is identified with those who cause relational troubles between people. So how do we deal with this sin - in ourselves and in others. First of all we refuse to participate in gossip ourselves. One principle that is helpful is to use any information we have about others that could be the source of gossip and criticism as fuel for intercessory prayer rather than gossip. When we do this we will insure that we only eat our dainty morsels in the presence of God. There we take such information and use it in mercy - to pray for someone. We never use it for judgment - to injure them with words that we speak to others. Secondly we refuse to listen to gossip from others. Elsewhere in Proverbs we read that an angry countenance will send away a backbiting tongue. Two things I try to do personally when gossip comes my way is to first say that I would prefer not hearing it. When someone seems to want to persist, I then tell them I will listen - but only for the purpose of getting them together with the person with whom they have a problem within a couple of weeks. This has led to two things. It has led to people stopping the gossip from being spoken - and it when someone continues - it has led to me becoming a peacemaker between them and the person with whom they are offended. Oh, and as people have gossipped about how I deal with gossip - it has led to the gossips avoiding me like the plague. Don't let the dainty morsels of gossip lodge themselves into your spirit. Refuse to hear it - and if someone persists take the role of a peacemaker. You will be doing yourself a favor first of all - and secondly, you will be causing blessing to come to the body of Christ as you do your part to stop this sin in its tracks when it seeks to come into your fellowship and divide the saints. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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